BACK FROM THE DARK SIDE

I haven't blogged since November last year. I'm back from the dark side. I've suffered with depression and anxiety before. The first time it was diagnosed, I was in my late thirties. I was told this was more than likely due to a chemical imbalance. I was also going through a stressful time at work and had if not an errant teenager, a teenager, who was causing more concern than usual. I took the medication for about a year and then just didn't get a repeat of the presciption. I was feeling fine and went along happily with my life. Then in my late forties, I once again had extreme stress at work, with a change of the city I worked in, as well as for new people. One of those takeovers one is happy to survive, because you didn't get retrenched. In hind sight, retrenchment may have been a healthier option. So back I went on the meds. At this time I was offered a new career opportunity. I jumped at it, the people were great, the working conditions were ideal, it was still in another city, but I was sure I could make it work. After about 18 months, I once again stopped taking the meds. Four years and a few upheavals/traumas and an increased work load, my system said enough and I suffered extreme burnout. Six weeks at home on meds and therapy helped for a while. Eventually in early 2010, I had to take early retirement or sink into oblivion.

I was in turmoil from July 2009 until about October 2011. By October, I'd already weaned myself off the anxiety meds and one of the antidepressants. I was now taking one tablet twice a day. I was feeling good and in control and decided to drop the dosage to one tablet a day. Big mistake, but it took me until late November to recognise what I'd done to myself. The regression was frightening. I'm starting to feel okay again but am more cautious than optimistic. I sometimes feel that things are unravelling but getting a grip is easier each time.

It's hard to admit that I'm just one of those who suffer, at some point in their lives from chemical imbalances - whether the reason be stress, trauma or just plain old genetic make up that causes things to go tilted to one side. I know I've had stress and trauma, maybe not more than some people but enough to send me to what I call the dark side.

I'm writing this to record where the good part of three months has gone!

During this time I managed to make jewellery, go away for a bushveld break with Rich, Joce and Liam. Do some painting. Entertain some family on Christmas Day and hopefully other than those who see me daily, no one is the wiser as to my ailments.

This ice resin pendant was bought by Bonita. The picture is by Liekie Fouche and depicts the star sign Sagittarius.

 Thinking up and making beaded jewellery calms me, hence a few bracelets in various designs.

  

This was especially made for my Mother in law on the occasion of her birthday. At eighty five you know what you want. I was told that the item had to have a variety of whites and the length was specified, other than that, I had free reign. She was very happy with the result. 

Another bracelet.

This was make for Pearl, my son's Mother in law. Pearl has become a special friend, the necklace was made on the occasion of her 60th birthday. I also made amethyst earrings to match but forgot to take a photo.

Some of the beads and stones in this necklace come from one of those mixed packs, where you get some beauties and quite a few useless pieces. I'd had the turquoise coloured split rings for quite some time and the enamelled flowers, at the time they were bought, I'd no idea what I was going to do with them.

 Each of these four bracelets, came about because of a particular bead or beads in my stash. I'm trying not to always be on the look out for new beads but to make use of the beautiful beads I already have in

 stock.

A safety fin brooch for a winter jersey or jacket.

MINDS EYE

More often than not, what's in my minds eye is not what is produced.

I made this necklace fairly early yesterday morning. Hasn't worked out like I thought. So I'll probably have to do some more work on it. It needs a clasp and the pink briolette's don't seem quite right.

This beautiful orchid is one of Bevan's that I'm baby sitting for him and I'm so pleased it flowered.

Here are some beads that I bought yesterday, our local craft shop has a scratch patch.

And a bracelet Zelyne had bought, that needed beads and beads caps replaced.

LIFE & THE REASONS

I found this in my drafts, I was busy with this post just before we went to the Kruger, I'd run out of time. As I remember, I had every intention of carrying on while we were away, as I'd taken my laptop with me. Clever me forgot to take my 3G card with, so no blogging was done. By the time I got home the draft post was forgotten about. So here it is.

As mentioned before I suffered from burnout in July 2009 and am still not 100%. I've have had serious high blood pressure problems since 2009. I was at the doctor this week and am so thrilled that my blood pressure is now down to 136/65. I was touring the 160/90.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. Had I not suffered the burnout, I would not have been able to be here for Joce when she lost Simon, nor would I be able to look after Liam. Rich and I are enjoying looking after him so much. He is walking all the time now and the changes in him on a daily basis are amazing.

I think for the first time in years, I'll be organised for our packing for the Kruger. All the ironing is almost up to date, I just have to do a final load of washing tomorrow and make sure everthing is clean and tidy for our housesitters, Merryl and Roel.

I sent off two new necklaces and bracelets to the salon.

Violet

Sea Foam

Frida

Little Bird

THE BLUES

Somehow a lot I've made has gone blue. This time of the year the blues just appear. Must be the influence of the mags and all their sea side holiday ideas or it's the incredible colour of our skies in summer.
I quickly made these this morning. Decided I needed a pair to go with my blue and white striped blouse and denim skirt.

Lots of others things to say but not today. Have to go and make a spinach salad for our lunch at Bevan and Claire.

Earrings made with blue porcelain and blue glass beads. I love blue flowers, this is a Forget Me Not.

My first Hydrangeas

MORE THAN NEEDED

I'm continuing to insert images of the jewellery that I've been making. I love making beaded jewellery. Just sitting in front of the boxes of beads or a particular focal that I've decided to base a design on, calms me immensely. Some of the beads are lamp work, some are beads from India, some are sea glass and some semi-precious stones or pearls. I think the beads that I love the most are those with  intricate designs or perhaps special one off ceramics. Although, I also love beads from West Africa, millefiori trade beads or recycled glass beads from Ghana. In fact I just love beads. Focals form an important part of my necklaces and I love hand crafted focals or found objects, such as sea shells or old keys. A lot of my creations I keep for myself. Some are just too difficult to market .Although I know I have more than needed or will possibly ever wear with any regularity.

This necklace was made based on a necklace my sister Lindy was wearing. I didn't get a really good look at Lindy's necklace, so this is my interpretation. I've used ceramic beads and clear glass nuggets, glass pearls, silver metal links and have tied the pendant on with a piece of found ribbon. 

My sister inlaw Sylvia is after a longish necklace. She wanted one that I'd made that she'd seen previously. That necklace has been sold. My jewellery is almost always one off pieces as I don't buy the beads etc in large quantities. The rose pendant was made by Bevan from recycled aluminium. There are roses carved from shell, shell oval discs, shell triangles, small shell nuggets, clear seed beads, clear faceted Czech glass beads and lovely wonky stick pearls.

1. This necklace evolved around the resin bezel. I used a picture by Likie, these pictures are small and published in a local weekly magazine. You will note that some of the resin got under the picture. The bezel is concave. I used shell discs and squares. Grey stick pearls and a grape colour double pearls. The pale pink glass beads are faceted Czech glass.

There is quite a demand for bracelets and I don't make that many. These have been made especially for sale in Joce's salon. I can't get the type to go opposite the pic, so I've now resorted to numbering them for ease of reference. No 2, I've used torquise and glass beads with silver metal charms. No 3, large clear glass discs, glass and metal separators and a chain made from separators. No 4, contains potato pearls, lapis lazuli and sodalite. With lots of separators and charms.

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I made these two multi coloured button necklaces for myself. They are really long and loop twice easily. I've already had orders for more.

This bracelet I'd seen on someones arm at Issabella's. Joce was not keen that I asked for a closer look, so who knows if this is the same. I put the picture in the resined bezel link. The clear glass disc like beads were purchased from House of Beads and are a result of a underprivileged community project.

Another take on a button necklace. I just loved the colour of these large buttons. Note the little heart and flower button at the clasp.

This girlish necklace started because of the little pink heart bead and developed from there. I've used different glass beads from my stash. The heart pendant was made by Bevan from recycled aluminium. Even the clasp is a heart.

I've had the big bead that I've used for the pendant for ages. Not the easiest colour combination. The square beads with the swirl, I've also had forever. Some of the glass beads are from those lucky packet type selections and the orange faceted glass beads are beautiful and were quite pricy.

Well this blog has nearly taken me 3 hours to complete. I've already got two more pieces completed but they have to be for another day. This week is going to be busy, what with getting organised for our camping break in the Kruger National Park.

MY LITTLE WORLD

For Carina: carnelian, turquoise, metal beads & spacers on elastic.

I'm going to carry on from the last post and show photos of the jewellery I've made lately, as well as other photos and snippets that run through my head.

Well, for me inserting images is still very slow. So slow that I'm put off posting on the blog and FB is really no better. As I'm not all that computer literate, I don't know if its our bandwidth or the size of the photos.

I've been pretty busy. I'm trying to get some sort of order into my life, not boring and everyday the same thing. But at least some sort of organization. I seem to have been at sea since the burnout in July 2009. Can't believe that it is taking me so long to get back to normal, although what is normal? I'm not even sure anymore. We have been through a difficult time, burnout, my forced early retirement, Joce being pregnant (great news), Simon's illness, Liams birth, then Simon's death, Richard's forced early retirement, being Liam's day Mom and just trying to help Joce cope with her grief and get on with life. Believe me, it's not been easy.Some days I just want to escape it all. But I can't, giving in is not right. There seems to be so much unhappiness and natural disastors and tragedy in the world. My little world has been bad enough. The natural disastors/tragedies and wars in the world can really make one wonder what it's all about.

I recently bought a Bead Smith 3mm letter & number punch set. As you can see from the pic, punching the letters onto the dog tags was a lot harder than I anticipated. I have no idea what the metal is, but it is thin and damn hard. I then punched into a pendant Bevan made from recycled aluminium and that was a lot easier, still higgeldy piggeldy though. Just have to learn how to line up the letters. I feel I should get a decent sized sheet of silver and practice. Now to find out where to buy the silver metal sheet, that doesn't cost an arm and a leg.

A cheerful selection of red glass beads, clear glass nuggets and metal charms. Snapped up by Lin.

Bezel of a Sam Toft picture in resin (made by me), ceramic beads, pearls, coral, seed discs, citrine and guaze ribbon.  

Watch bezel purchased from Beads Direct, ceramic focal and other ceramic beads, seed beads & metal chain, spacers and bead caps.

Neither of the above necklaces have been put on the market. The Sam Toft pendant has some resin which I can't get off the back. I don't like to sell something with what I see as a fault. The watch bezel necklace I love and keep wearing. More later today hopefully.

IS THERE ANYBODY OUT THERE

People have blogs for a number of reasons. I started mine, as I wanted a record of the jewellery I make, as well as some kind of journal. Online journaling is not easy, not for me anyway. The revealing, sharing, showing, telling, writing, posting to strangers, to an open forum, can be disconcerting. What's too much and what's too little?

I'd like you, when you visit, to take a minute or two to leave a comment here. It matters to me that you leave some sort of comment.

I've been doing quite a lot of jewellery making lately. Mainly necklaces and bracelets.

Torquise, coral, bone and Egyptian silver.

An old coin, Zulu Teething beads and Millefiori from West Africa

Coral, lapis lazuli and ceramic.

Foiled glass beads and seed beads.

Purchased bezels with found pictures. Covered with a clear gloss resin.

A necklace for Claire, glass beads, pearls and chain.

My new and very comfy sandals. Note the Zulu teething beads.

Chain and glass beads. Caron, suggested the design.

I'll post more pics tomorrow. I've made quite a lot more.