LIFE DOES GO ON

Today it's a month since Si left.

Time waits for no one. Life goes on.

We had a hectic day yesterday. At 09h00, we had to meet the chap installing the alarm at Joce's home, as well as the chap for the quote on the blinds for the bedrooms and flooring. Then off to Parkview for breakfast and a visit to the bank to sort out some matters. Then off to SARS, as they were suddenly querying a 2005 tax return. Joce was in the queue for an hour but got sorted. By now it was about 13h00. I still had to get to House of Beads, to have a look at a metal stamping set that they were going to order me. We had Liam with us and he needed to have his lunch. We went to Pure for a light lunch and fed Liam. I wish I'd taken some pics at Pure. 

We got to House of Beads at about 14h30 and then we had fun. The metal stamping set was just what I wanted, so that's on order. I bought the hammer in the meanwhile and the block they assured me I could get just about anywhere. I'll have to chat to Bev and also about what gauge metal to buy and where.

House of Beads info@originalbeads.co.za now have a studio where they give lessons and a gallery for the work done. I think the works on display are mainly creations by Louise van Stade. Joce and I just have to have some of the creations.

We didn't get a chance to chat to Rina, as she was giving a class. I wanted to find out more about the pieces we purchased and any stories behind their creation.

This one is a bezel, with I think a polymer clay insert depicting the sun.

This is also a bezel, with what I think is a resin picture set in a metal oval as well as a metal charm. I think these are also set in polymer clay, but I'm really not sure as the surface is not very smooth.

This is the dearest brooch. What a happy Buddha. Brass, base metal, a watch casing? and a polymer clay face?

Joce absolutely adored this pendant. It's an angel with the most beautiful buttocks. I never took a photo of the back today, but will soon. The angel is quite light in weight but I don't think it's aluminium, perhaps pewter?

We'll find out more when I go to get my stamp set.

Louise van Stade is featured in "the Bead Book" issue 31. www.beadbook.net.

Joce is going back to her business on the 26th. She felt she had neglected her business while Si was ill and she had Liam. She went and stocked up and is all set to start afresh. She's such a brave and dedicated person. She loves her business and I believe, although there is trepidation regarding the questions she will get about Simon and the sympathy, she is quite excited to get back out there. I'm sure she is going to do just great.

I decided to get to know my camera a bit better today. Of course not from the manual! I decided I needed to take some photos of myself. They were such a disaster, that I've deleted them all. Never knew I was so un-photogenic. I was trying to take photos in the study before 10h00 today and with the sun streaming in. It was probably not the right light to work in anyway. Hence, even the pics of the House of Beads purchases are not so good.

I've bought quite a lot of stock lately and my fingers are itching to get back to the beads and wire. I think I might move Liam's cot to Joce's room for the day tomorrow and try and make something. I also need to back away my purchases.

Hopefully I'll be back soon. Lots of "I's" in this ramble. Am I getting my spirit back?

SOMETIMES LIFE THROWS STONES

There are times when one feels that life will never regain balance.One seems to just start recovering from a stonning, only to have it start all over again. What's been happening in our lives of late has been so upsetting and sad.

The last time I blogged was the 14th of June 2011. It seems so much has happened, although it's truly one thing. Where to begin? What to share? what not to share?

Simon - January 2010

Simon went back into hospital on Friday the 17th of June with his leg severely swollen again and in severe pain. Joce and I had to carry him to the car, he was so weak and in so much pain. I waited with Si in the sittingroom, while Joce got the car as close to the front door as she could. We were on the sofa together in the sun. I sat close to Simon trying to comfort him. In his own way he said goodbye. Simon passed away in the very early hours of the 22nd of June 2011. Joce and Rich almost made it, Si had been gone for about 10 minutes when they got to the hospital at about 00h20. Joce said he looked so beautiful and at peace.

One wonders how we will ever recover from something like this, but as we have been told by so many "life goes on".

Words can't explain how I have felt and am still feeling about this tragedy. So I choose to be quite because I can't explain. I'm inclined to withdraw when I'm stressed, or having to cope with something painful. In our circumstances, my withdrawing would have been impossible and cruel to Jocelynn, who really needs me now. Family and friends have been incredible. There has been a steady stream of visitors from the morning of the 22nd, till well after the funeral. Wonderful family and friends are still keeping contact.

For me this is a time of giving, coping, contemplation and soul searching.

Outwardly, Liam who is now 10 months old is unaware of the tradegy that has stuck his family. He was hardly sitting when Joce moved in with us the beginning of April, now he is crawling and pulling himself up every chance he gets. He is a delight and most certainly the light of Joce's life.

As far as we can tell Joce is coping well, but even with one's own child, who knows what she is keeping to herself. She has been so strong since Si was dianosed in June last year.

We've had a very cold July and my poor garden is really looking sad. We don't get snow that makes the garden look like a wonderland. We just have dusty browns and yellows. I've been putting a few ornaments in the garden to cheer things up a bit.

I've not had routine in my life since May 2010. As soon as I feel, okay, now I'm getting somewhere, something happens to upset the apple cart.

The garden ornaments are from Mr Price. Although I love having original items from local crafts people in my home and garden, in this time of need the items from China are cheering.

I also managed to plant some Swiss Chard and Rainbow Lights spinach seedlings, as well as some pansies just off the patio.

When I walk around my garden, my insides churn at all the things I feel I should be doing. So much to tidy. I'm not inclined to let Mother Nature take her course and like the flower beds to be weed free and the stones and  pathways to be clear.

Spinach seedlings with sunflower seed shell mulch

Pansie

Self seeded Primula

Here I left nature alone, these primula have seeded themselves from last year.

Beading and making jewellery has not been at the top of the list of late. Liam's cot is set up in my studio, so I've been doing things on my lap whenever possible. Here's the simplest bracelet made up of a muddle of glass beads and metal, threaded on elastic.

The beaded bangle is one of my birthday presents to myself. They are resting on a necklace of mother of pearl buttons. Bevan and Claire got the necklace from Kim Sacks Gallery in Johannesburg.

Emma

My birthday present from my very dear friend Bon. I've named the piggy watering can Emma. Bon and I went for breakfast last Saturday at Cafe 41 in Arcadia. I had a great time, just sitting and chatting in the winter sun in their courtyard. Bon knows me well, I don't even have to explain. Bon also made the birthday card, so special.

The card Bon made

I splurged out for my birthday and bought a smallish Persian carpet for the sitting room. I'll take a pic another day. Liam's playpen and toys are all over the carpet.

My thoughts and feelings are all over the place. I have an overwhelming desire not to leave our home. But then can't settle when I'm alone. This has been an unfamiliar time, these past four weeks of grieving for one so young and also for the loved ones left behind.

Maybe our time for healing, peace and the comfort of routines will soon be upon us.

The necklace from Kim Sacks Gallery.