Dragonfodder Jewellery

Dragonfodder Jewellery

Saturday, February 11, 2012

BACK FROM THE DARK SIDE

I haven't blogged since November last year. I'm back from the dark side. I've suffered with depression and anxiety before. The first time it was diagnosed, I was in my late thirties. I was told this was more than likely due to a chemical imbalance. I was also going through a stressful time at work and had if not an errant teenager, a teenager, who was causing more concern than usual. I took the medication for about a year and then just didn't get a repeat of the presciption. I was feeling fine and went along happily with my life. Then in my late forties, I once again had extreme stress at work, with a change of the city I worked in, as well as for new people. One of those takeovers one is happy to survive, because you didn't get retrenched. In hind sight, retrenchment may have been a healthier option. So back I went on the meds. At this time I was offered a new career opportunity. I jumped at it, the people were great, the working conditions were ideal, it was still in another city, but I was sure I could make it work. After about 18 months, I once again stopped taking the meds. Four years and a few upheavals/traumas and an increased work load, my system said enough and I suffered extreme burnout. Six weeks at home on meds and therapy helped for a while. Eventually in early 2010, I had to take early retirement or sink into oblivion.

I was in turmoil from July 2009 until about October 2011. By October, I'd already weaned myself off the anxiety meds and one of the antidepressants. I was now taking one tablet twice a day. I was feeling good and in control and decided to drop the dosage to one tablet a day. Big mistake, but it took me until late November to recognise what I'd done to myself. The regression was frightening. I'm starting to feel okay again but am more cautious than optimistic. I sometimes feel that things are unravelling but getting a grip is easier each time.

It's hard to admit that I'm just one of those who suffer, at some point in their lives from chemical imbalances - whether the reason be stress, trauma or just plain old genetic make up that causes things to go tilted to one side. I know I've had stress and trauma, maybe not more than some people but enough to send me to what I call the dark side.

I'm writing this to record where the good part of three months has gone!

During this time I managed to make jewellery, go away for a bushveld break with Rich, Joce and Liam. Do some painting. Entertain some family on Christmas Day and hopefully other than those who see me daily, no one is the wiser as to my ailments.

This ice resin pendant was bought by Bonita. The picture is by Liekie Fouche and depicts the star sign Sagittarius.

 Thinking up and making beaded jewellery calms me, hence a few bracelets in various designs.



  
This was especially made for my Mother in law on the occasion of her birthday. At eighty five you know what you want. I was told that the item had to have a variety of whites and the length was specified, other than that, I had free reign. She was very happy with the result. 

Another bracelet.


This was make for Pearl, my son's Mother in law. Pearl has become a special friend, the necklace was made on the occasion of her 60th birthday. I also made amethyst earrings to match but forgot to take a photo.

Some of the beads and stones in this necklace come from one of those mixed packs, where you get some beauties and quite a few useless pieces. I'd had the turquoise coloured split rings for quite some time and the enamelled flowers, at the time they were bought, I'd no idea what I was going to do with them.

 Each of these four bracelets, came about because of a particular bead or beads in my stash. I'm trying not to always be on the look out for new beads but to make use of the beautiful beads I already have in
 stock.


A safety fin brooch for a winter jersey or jacket.

2 comments:

  1. I totally understand. I can remember back as far as the age of seven feeling that something wasn't quite right. I didn't get good medication until I was 30. I often wonder what my life would have been like if I'd had help before that?

    Anyway -- I completely believe there is nothing wrong with saying you have this. It's the same as being diabetic -- you have it, you take meds for it, you go on. And some days are still better than others. And that's when you can remember -- it's ok.

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